Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

a morning smile.

23/06/2011

There is something extremely powerful about a smile.  A simple smile has the power behind it to change someone’s day, change someone’s mind or change someone’s life.  Personally I believe in smiling, smiling a lot and I think that it can not only make other people happier but it makes me happier as well.  Sometimes during the worst moments in life a cracked smile can be a comforting gesture.  Some people of course don’t quit feel this way and some people aren’t that into enjoying all of life, but instead choose boundaries and think that happiness and laughter have a place and time, they’d rather be more serious and focused and argumentative.  And if that’s what works for them then great!  But as for me I believe in the smile, in the laughter and in never taking anything too seriously.  It’s just life after all and in case you forgot…none of us are making it out alive anyway.  It was recently brought to my attention that I was different in the fact that I did not like to fight, this person had been in relationships only with girls that liked to argue and bicker.  Hmm.  I took this as a huge compliment and that’s exactly how he meant it, but he said that by now (the point at which we are in our relationship) that he would be used to fighting over little stupid things and just having to appease the other person as to not anger them basically, at least that’s what I got out of what he was saying.  this certainly made me stop and think about my own feelings toward this topic.  I have always been the pacifier… When I was a kid I sat with a nervous stomach if anyone crossed my dad, I didn’t want my parents to fight, and when they did I always stuck my head in and tried to be the voice of reason.  Just appease, it was easier that way.  And at family gatherings I was always on edge waiting for the roof to blow, for one of my aunts to get a little drunk and yell at someone or cross someone with their bitter unhappy attitudes about life, love and everything in between.  And in high school I was the girl that would do anything to make everyone happy, I once got our entire class out of taking a test by baking a lasagna the next day.  And I constantly had cupcakes for someone birthday or treats for everyone on a holiday.  Make them happy.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve obviously never lost that sense to please, I have however figured out that I have to please myself as well if not more than others, it goes back to that whole “loving from a place of overflow instead of lack” idea.  But that gut wrenching feeling I had as a child when my family fought, and boy did they fight, has never gone away.  It’s gotten better over the last year, but I still have a tense stomach when I’m at my parents house and I need a whole roll of tums to even step foot in my grandparents house for the holidays, the older my aunts got, you guessed it, the bitterness and anger grew.  But I think this trained me to be the different girl that he is intrigued by and enjoying.  I don’t believe in going to bed angry, I’m lucky to make it through a fight without making a dumb ass remark and breaking out in laughter.  I just think if you are open and honest and you love someone there is no reason to fight all of the time.  Sure things will happen and of course you’re going to be angry at each other sometimes but say your peace, find a solution that works for everyone and move on.  Every moment spent fighting is a moment that could have been spent loving.  And I don’t know about you but I could never have too many moments of loving…ever.  Maybe it’s him being just as goofy and silly as I am, maybe it’s that we found something real, but I can’t stand the thought of fighting with him over something stupid, I want to soak up all the good and the thought of hurting his feelings makes me completely sad and is something that I would certainly spend every minute I could to keep it from happening.  I like to laugh, I like to smile and I think that is exactly how life should be spent.  That’s exactly what I’ve been searching for….someone I can wake up next to, see a morning smile on their face greeting mine and laugh for the rest of our lives.

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blue.

16/06/2011

Lonely. I don’t even like the word, let alone the feeling. I am always so go go go in my life and I love it! I love being around people and never stopping, especially when it’s accomplishing my dreams and/or spending time with people I really care about. I can work until 3 am, easy, but that first night off after being non-stop for days or weeks in a row can be cruel. I don’t know if there’s a medical term for it, but I always feel like this. After my christmas party, my birthday party, basically any gathering of sorts that gets me super busy, then the crash. Time to relax and time to myself can be my worst nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy relaxing as much as the next person but I like to relax with people, in the company of people that I care about. I don’t know what’s up with my semi-blue mood. I am happy, I’m always happy. There is no way that I could possibly be unhappy with all the good in my life, but I’m allowed to be lonely every once in a while, right? Maybe it’s not hearing from the one person I really wanted to today. Maybe it’s just that I’m in the middle of a life change attitude wise and I’m stumbling a bit today. Or maybe it’s a combination. There is an amazing man out there that I have been hanging out with and I am so excited to see him this next. I don’t know when yet and perhaps the lack of planning is making me a bit crazy, but this is a lesson I need to learn. When it’s right, it will happen. Bottom line. And I have to learn to let it, to have faith in the fact that he wants to see me just as much as I do him and that he has his own life as do I and it takes time to let someone in. He really is amazing. I have come to the conclusion that I really enjoy spending time with him and making him smile makes me happy. And seeing him makes me happy, and for the first time I feel like someone wants to spend time with me as much as I want to with him. That is rare for me, and I like it, a lot.

Things I want:

To be happy.

To be healthy.

To have Big Love.

To love from a place of overflow rather than lack and be loved in return that way.

To be able to be goofy and completely silly with my man.

To believe in faith and know that the universe knows what’s best for me.

To be able to support, love and believe in with my whole heart the man I’m supposed to be with.

To be successful in my dreams and be able to watch him be successful in his.

To live as if I have no pain, no doubt, and no sadness.

To be someone’s happy ending and meet mine.

To be a mom with someone who loves kids as much as I do.

To live out the little moments in my career and with the one that I’ve been dreaming about since I was 3.

To never doubt the love of my life and his commitment to me and to have him be able to do the same.

To write a book and have it published.

To laugh every single day, many times over.

To appreciate the little things.

To make the choice of LOVE in every step of my life, regardless.

I know that I will have these things when the timing is right. Your heart does not desire that which is not in your future. You just have to be open to it, be full of and always choose love and be happy with yourself. Be full in your own right, make the love and happiness you desire the sprinkles on top instead of the only thing in the cup!

the only black friday shopping….

27/11/2010


Ok, so I refuse to get out at 4am and shop the sales on Black Friday, but on my way to work that Friday I stopped by my favorite place on earth, and the only place I will shop on Black Friday… Victoria’s Secret!  I’m so very jazzed about all of my new sexy’s!  Every year I look forward to checking out their holiday collection, it’s always so fun and oh so sexy!  I’m also looking forward to one of my very favorite nights of the year on Nov 30th, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, LOVE!!!  Anyway, back to my finds… I was extremely excited to get my favorite perfume for 1/2 price and bras were all buy one get one half, uh, yes please!  So needless to say I stocked up!  But the collection itself is above and beyond last years, which fell a little short for them.  Panties that had jingle bells and ruffles on the back, a dreamy swarovski encrusted bra, and lots of cute hip-huggers with great “ideas” on them.  I would recommend going and checking it out immediately, a girl never feels sexier than when she has on marvelous lingerie!

skinny bitch…

24/11/2010

About 2 years ago on my way back from LA I first read Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.  It changed my life!  I became a vegan right then and there and swore to never touch any of the grotesque processed food that I had learned the back story of.  I was completely dedicated for about 4 months.  And it was a wonderful 4 months, my skin was smoother, my hair thicker, my stomach which is normally never happy was laying on a beach somewhere chill as could be.  Not the mention the fact that I lost about 15 lbs!!  But with life changes, bad relationships, new jobs, oh and did I mention bad relationships (it’s hard to stay the course when the person you’re dating is making fun of you for being healthy) I was driven away from the lifestyle that actually made me feel my best.  So here I am, I re-read the book, was as pumped up just as much if not more as I was the first time and now with Kim Barnouin and her new everyday cookbook I am ready to go!!  Vegan-ism here I come!!  From Strawberry cupcakes to avocado lime ice cream and everything in between Kim has given us Skinny Bitches a whole new round of delicioso recipes that would make any meat eating gal or guy going vegan in a heartbeat!

never giving up…

15/02/2010

Little girls are blessed with the most uncanny way of dreaming big and not just dreaming, but really believing with all of their heart that anything can happen.  I was certainly one of those little girls.  Some of us dreamed of being a doctor, some of being moms and nurses, teachers and astronauts even, but my dream came wrapped in bolts of gorgeous silks and spun through needles and pins and ended with a fantastic work of art for someone to enjoy.  I was sewing at three in the middle of my grandmothers floor, she would give me buttons to sew onto scrap pieces of fabric and I could sit there enthralled for hours.  I will never forget that feeling, the feeling of creating something, of carrying on a legacy of talent and being able to step back and look at something you’ve made and be filled with pride and happiness.  I’ve been working towards my dream ever since.  Everyone says that the first couple of years that follow college graduation are some of the hardest year professionally that you will ever face.  It is certainly a time of adjustment and of trying to find your place, and I can say that I have certainly struggled at times over the past two years, but I have also learned a lot about myself and about the power of survival.  I have had my fair share of down times in the last 24 months but I also know that I am slowly succeeding at my dream.  Sometimes we have to do things we don’t love to get to the places we want to be, but when it all comes down to it the truth of the matter is that I truly love what I do.  And sure, I may be doing some things just to get me by, but knowing that each day of it gets me a little closer to living my dream makes it all worth it.  There are very few people in life that wake up and love what they do and can’t wait to do more, so I will consider myself lucky in this world and continue to power through knocking down one obstacle at a time until I’m above where I ever even dreamed I could be.  After all… “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”  -William Faulkner

a very fashionable alphabet…

11/02/2010

C is for Couture...

So, I LOVE books, case closed I just do and when I go into Anthropologie that is the first thing that I browse.  I was in there the other day and was looking through their immense collection and stumbled upon hands down one of the most amazing children’s books ever!  It’s called “When Royals Wore Ruffles” and it is an alphabet book, but not just your ordinary alphabet book…No!  For each letter of the alphabet there is an example given and each example has something to do with fashion and historical costume.  It’s brilliant, “I is for Illegal Intruder:The Wig Snatcher” and then it goes on to talk about the history of it “With all the jewels in their wigs, ladies became the target of the dreaded WIG SNATCHERS.  Robbers would sneak up behind a lady’s coach, cut a hole in the back, snatch the wig-and of they’d run!  I-YI-YI!  Who knew being fashionable could be so dangerous!”  I LOVE IT!!!  C is no longer for CAT, no, no…it’s for COUTURE!

yes please…

07/02/2010

yes, yes, yes...

I tend to be very picky when it comes to sofa shopping.  I haven’t even had one for the past two years, that’s really due to space, but I love the look of my natural linen ikea chairs better than any small sofa in my budget.  I always find them to be supremely overpriced for cotton or too low, too slippery (I would like to stay on the sofa not slip off onto the floor), too fluffy or too ugly (this happens more than anything :).  However, I must say this piece is amazing and I would put it in my house in an instant!  It’s a leather sofa which tend to be a little slippery, but with all of the tufting it is softer and thus much more sink-in-it-able (that’s a word, right?, well you get the point).  It’s so gorgeous and vintage fabulous!  I need it, I need it….  Sure thing!  I guess I’ll just put it on my roof…