your choice.

11/06/2011

Why is it that we let the people around us have such an effect on our attitude?  This has always been such a mystery to me.  It works wonders when it’s around someone good and happy and positive that we love dearly.  That’s the side of this that works, but of course for it to work you have to also be that for the other person.  It’s a balance of happy between two people that has the power to change your life, and especially your attitude.  But what I’m really trying to figure out is why I let people and their unkind words and actions have such a profound effect on my attitude.  I strive to at least get over it quickly and know that not everyone is going to like you and that people can be cruel (I learned that one a LONG time ago).  But when someone is so fake to your face and then stabs you in the back repeatedly it leads us down a broken and dead-end road of anger and hurt.  I hate it.  And I try so hard not to be that person to anyone, I don’t sugarcoat things and I’m very blunt when it comes to people.  If I have a problem I’m going to put it out there and in front of you otherwise how would I ever expect it to be solved.  But it constantly astounds me the level that people will climb to hurt people just because they’re jealous or angry about something completely different or just can’t stand to watch anyone else be happy.  This should be our goal:  To take these times and people and learn from them, grow from a place of love because of them.  Never take anything they say or do to heart and move on and away as best we can.  Ignore them.  It’s hard and it takes practice but I like to take things that happen in my life and put them to use making sure that I never do that to someone, anyone ever.  I believe in good and I believe in Karma and it is a bitch!  But we also can’t live hoping that someday they get there’s either.  For our own soul’s piece of mind and for our own healthy heart and mind we must wish them well, hope that they may see the hurt they caused and learn from it.  And then we choose not to be around these people as best we can.  Co-workers is a tough one, but deal with it the best you can by staying positive and showing them your best.  And if the problem get’s out of hand always seek higher authority to figure out the issue.  But in our personal lives with friends and in relationships we can control the toxicity level of these people.  Sometimes we don’t see that the level is so unbelievably high until we are hurt and broken but that is the moment to rise up, and walk away.  Step out of the parts of your life that are toxic and the people that are making it that way.  It is your choice to be in a friendship or relationship that is unkind and hurtful.  And it is your choice to move on, grow and seek people who make you feel alive and beautiful inside and out.  These are the people that we should not only strive to be but that we should envelop ourselves in fully.  We all need lessons, that is what life is about, especially when we’re young.  I’ve been through ridiculous relationships that most people wouldn’t even begin let along stay in, but that has taught me patience and put faith in the idea of “the right person at the right time”.  If I had not come from where I have my current situation would be a lot more difficult for me to handle, but I took those terrible situations and decided to stop wallowing in them and learn about the things I needed to do to become more open for love and ready for big love.  Same goes for friendships, I have been around some toxic people in my life.  We all have friends that we meet at different points in our lives that change us.  Some for good, some for bad.  The trick is to recognize the ones that are changing you and pulling you into being someone that you’re not.  I used to be Sarah Sunshine and now… The bitch is back!  No more being around the people from my past that made me feel so low and down on life.  They really aren’t’ around anymore anyway, but I was holding onto a piece of them that made those feelings also hold on.  It’s a dark and stormy path that I have chosen to run screaming back away from and instead I’ve decided that I am going to be me, like it or not, and if I can make someone smile and make myself smile by doing that….well then that my friends has made all the difference in the world.

to be.

06/06/2011

Is it wrong to stay positive? I have alway been a super positive person. That’s why so many of my friends call me Sarah Sunshine…or at least they used to. With growing came more and more heart ache and pain and I let it and some of the people in my life get to me. I started to be the girl who hated men and thought they were all out to hurt us and sat in the pit of sorrow and rolled around for hours with friends in the same boat. But I’ve taken a giant step back and begun to look at my life and my attitude. Our attitude is the only thing in which we can control. Perhaps it is being around different and supportive friends, perhaps it is being in the “getting to know each other” phase with an amazing man who I can’t wait to learn more about, or perhaps I’m learning again who I am and bringing back the sunshine. People have always gotten onto me for wearing my heart on my sleeve, for being so open to love and positive and being a dreamer. Finally I think these comments had gotten to me. I know most of my friends have my best interest at heart, they don’t want to see me get hurt again, and I’m certain there were some who just wanted a pity party partner. But I am taking back my attitude, I believe in love. Is that a bad thing? I believe that there is someone out there for me and I know I will find him in the perfect time. It may not be in my time, but when it’s meant to happen I know it will and I am choosing to look at everything that has happened as lessons learned, all the guys that never called back, all the ones that took your heart and ripped it up leaving your feelings stranded on a cold kitchen floor, and the big love that you thought was it, but it just wasn’t right. These are all lessons, things to make you appreciate the one even more. And I believe in dreaming. It may get you stepped on from time to time but I believe dreaming is another form of planning. Some people say it’s easier to have no hopes, that way they don’t get shattered. But I say hope, dream, have faith, imagine how good this one could turn out to be, if you feel it: live in that and appreciate every moment. And if it doesn’t work out, move on, grow, grieve if you need to but know that it’s just a step and that it didn’t work out because there is something so much better in store for you. “Someday, someone will come along and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” It may seem at times hard to believe, especially when all you can do is think about a love lost but it will get better, he will come along and when he does being negative and telling yourself he’s just like all the rest, while secretly hoping he’s the one will get you nowhere. Be yourself, be happy and fulfilled in your own right and be open to love. And when you meet someone that takes your breath away, let it come to you, enjoy it slowly and let it grow, don’t rush it, if it’s right it will figure itself out and you will know what they mean by “it’s worth the wait”. Enjoy the good feelings, let yourself feel them and if you daydream a little so be it, maybe that’s the universes way of giving you a glimpse into your future. Believe in love, have faith in love, have patience and you will find yourself in time surrounded by more joy than you ever thought possible. Don’t ever let anyone take your sunshine away!

the meaning of ignorance.

02/06/2011

“to do something over and over again the same way expecting different results.”. This was the definition of ignorance that was brought to my attention this week. I heard it and immediately said “isn’t that dating.”. There’s a fine line with dating. You have to take the past and learn from it, grow, and I suppose each time you meet someone new you’ve learned a little and thus changed at least some of how you take on the next person, but you also have to always be yourself. Of course “yourself” changes constantly but I think you do go about dating being yourself each time and waiting for the moment that you find someone and join up in mutual weirdness.  I think there is a beauty in ignorance and when we let ourselves believe that this time it might just be different, that’s the only time that the difference will occur.  You have to have faith.  And if that means being open and dreaming and being “ignorant” in some peoples mind, then so be it.  It’s hard, it’s a game to date and as women we get our feelings hurt quite often, but to stand by up and try again is not ignorance, it’s beauty in it’s rarest form.  Faith.  We must believe in the good, it is out there and hoping for it and having faith in it may bring some people to ridicule you and call you naive, but it is them who is naive and shut off from love.  How could you possibly find love if you are shut off from it.  It’s impossible.  It’s us, the ones who keep the faith and keep trying no matter how hard we get pushed down that will be rewarded with pure bliss and all the things the universe has in store for us, which is everything we desire in our hearts.  Be ignorant, have faith and the world will be your oyster!

the waiting game.

31/05/2011

“When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you want the rest o your life to start as soon as possible.”. Although it’s a good quote this is the reason I am such an over-stresser when it comes to relationships. Some of us have burned in our minds that if we feel a special connection with someone he should want to see us and talk to us all the time. Otherwise they don’t like us at all. Talk about toxic and self-destructive! This is what’s been burned into our minds by Disney and fairytales and stories of exceptions about people we’ve never met. Yeah, well I’ve played telephone and chances are that story is over fabricated by the time it’s getting to me. Yes, big love and great love does exist and I believe that it does come out of nowhere sometimes, but I also know that it takes work and patience to get through the “dating” phase. It down right sucks. You never know when or if he’s going to call, we’ll tell ourselves “I’m sure he’s just like all the rest of them” until he finally does call and then we’re so elated that we probably scare the crap out of him. It’s that phase of doubt where insecurity can eat you alive and a text message that’s a day later than it should be might just send you over the edge. Why? Why can’t we just be patient. I get a little discouraged with my career sometimes but I know in my heart an most of the time in my mind that I will fulfill my destiny, I will be great and I will make my dreams come true. So why on earth is it so much easier to be completely negative about my love life. I’ve been trying so hard. I finally met a real honest nice guy. He is so nice and we talk for hours bout everything and nothing all at the same time. He’s cute and I feel amazing when I’m with him. I’ve been so positive because I’ve never met anybody quite like him. I keep thinking maybe this will be different, maybe he won’t break my heart. But the more the “dating” phase proceeds the more I begin to doubt the optimism and wonder if once again I misread the signs and he really wasn’t that into me. Why? If it’s meant to be, it will find it’s way. I must find the patience to move forward, the love in myself to be happy either way and an attitude that says “if it’s not him, imagine how much better the person you are supposed to be with is.”. I think that might be the key. That and maybe a glass of wine!

“Love yourself first and everyone else will follow!”

a life worth living.

31/05/2011

When I opened my daily love blog (thedailylove.com) email today a specific quote shook my world to it’s core. I always love what Mastin has to say and it keeps me positive and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But when I scrolled down and read this John Steinbeck quote which was so simple and pretty much common sense, it was the way in which it was written that finally drove the point home for me. It said “Don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens – The Main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.” Now, I tend to be a bit of a stresser, maybe it’s being hurt too many times in the past or maybe it’s just my personality but I am the world worst over-analyst extraordinaire. I don’t even let myself enjoy the feeling of good because I am so wrapped up in wondering what is going to happen next. So, I now read this quote every morning and quite honestly several times a day. It keeps me focused on my career dreams and my love life and I truly believe that nothing good will get away. You can’t mess up a date or a business meeting. If it’s meant to be, it will find a way and it won’t be on your timing but it will happen and all these failures and lost loves and opportunities will be shown a new light as what’s better and meant to be comes to fruition!

the only black friday shopping….

27/11/2010


Ok, so I refuse to get out at 4am and shop the sales on Black Friday, but on my way to work that Friday I stopped by my favorite place on earth, and the only place I will shop on Black Friday… Victoria’s Secret!  I’m so very jazzed about all of my new sexy’s!  Every year I look forward to checking out their holiday collection, it’s always so fun and oh so sexy!  I’m also looking forward to one of my very favorite nights of the year on Nov 30th, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, LOVE!!!  Anyway, back to my finds… I was extremely excited to get my favorite perfume for 1/2 price and bras were all buy one get one half, uh, yes please!  So needless to say I stocked up!  But the collection itself is above and beyond last years, which fell a little short for them.  Panties that had jingle bells and ruffles on the back, a dreamy swarovski encrusted bra, and lots of cute hip-huggers with great “ideas” on them.  I would recommend going and checking it out immediately, a girl never feels sexier than when she has on marvelous lingerie!

skinny bitch…

24/11/2010

About 2 years ago on my way back from LA I first read Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.  It changed my life!  I became a vegan right then and there and swore to never touch any of the grotesque processed food that I had learned the back story of.  I was completely dedicated for about 4 months.  And it was a wonderful 4 months, my skin was smoother, my hair thicker, my stomach which is normally never happy was laying on a beach somewhere chill as could be.  Not the mention the fact that I lost about 15 lbs!!  But with life changes, bad relationships, new jobs, oh and did I mention bad relationships (it’s hard to stay the course when the person you’re dating is making fun of you for being healthy) I was driven away from the lifestyle that actually made me feel my best.  So here I am, I re-read the book, was as pumped up just as much if not more as I was the first time and now with Kim Barnouin and her new everyday cookbook I am ready to go!!  Vegan-ism here I come!!  From Strawberry cupcakes to avocado lime ice cream and everything in between Kim has given us Skinny Bitches a whole new round of delicioso recipes that would make any meat eating gal or guy going vegan in a heartbeat!

back for more…

24/11/2010

I seem to have abandoned something that truly gives me great pleasure for reasons unknown, but I’m back and ready to share my ideas, loves and interests with everyone.  It’s very calming to share ideas and thoughts that pass so quickly through our minds each day.  So I am looking forward to getting back to ipinkican and sharing some of me with all of you!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

my favorite city…

03/06/2010

We all have our favorite places to travel, or a dream locale that somehow would take away all of our stresses!  10 years ago I visited just such a place. Jesolo Italy is a beautiful little town on the coast in Italy a stones throw away from the lovely Venezia.  It is the sweetest little beach town with a plethora of chairs and umbrella ready for you to relax upon and under, amazing Italian shopping and plenty to see, especially considering it is a quick 20 minute bus and boat trip from Venice!  It has grown significantly over the past ten years and I am dying to see the wonderful improvements that have been made to this beach front dream city.  With a little research it seems that lodging is fairly inexpensive, for Italy at least and you can even rent high rise condos or camp on the beach!  A week in this town is sure to melt away years of stress, but I have to warn you, you might never want to leave…

check out the town website at http://www.jesolo.it/eng/

a little love for me…

18/04/2010

It seems silly that something as small as a number could make such a difference in our lives. My 24th birthday has just been passed over and for some reason that number, the simplicity of going from a 3 to a 4 when someone asks your age is very insignificant for the most part. But for me it’s about what changed inside of me. I have always been insecure in many areas in my life, growing up as the fat kid tends to lend itself to that and although I have not fit that persona for several years now there is still a piece of me that has always been unsure, a little unsteady and very questioning. I know that it didn’t all magically disapear on my 24th birthday or something like a magic spell, but I grew up a little bit with the move. Perhaps it has something to do with the current success in my business, or the oncoming of summer or even a fight with a loved one bringing those insecurities to the surface and realizing they are a figment of my imagination, but I feel alive, open and full of love! It’s a tremendous feeling and maybe it’s temporary, but I feel stable in mind and spirit, in life and love. But most importantly I think I realize how important loving yourself is, and how much taking care of yourself can enhance all other areas of your life greatly! Maybe I’ve had too much time to think on my hands or maybe in just really happy, either way a change has taken place in me and I must admit I like it very much!