Posts Tagged ‘hope’

what is “supposed to”?

19/06/2011

What is “supposed to”? We’ve all said it pertaining to many different things in our lives whether we are or are not “supposed to”. As children our parents are constantly reminding us of what we are and are not “supposed to” be doing. And as adults we know the right from wrong, good from bad, well at least for the most part. But when it comes to our dreams, our plans, and our lives in general i find it very hard to know what is “supposed to”. I have often heard people say that love is “supposed to” be hard. I know that being in a relationship is work, it takes effort to grow something amazing. But love, love is not hard. Love is what we are born to do, we never have to learn it, we just have to choose it over the bad that we are taught in our lives. Choosing love can be a difficult game, sure, but once you start you dont want to stop. But love as an action, as a feeling is not hard. I am learning this for the very first time. And i have a wonderful man as my instructor. Love. It brings about thoughts of happiness followed by fear followed by security. This is my path at least. Love is a feeling thats harder to repress than it is to feel for when its right love will come up and slap you in the face. My cheek is still burning, i swear! This is too easy, its not “supposed to” be this easy, its not “supposed to” be like this and I’m not “supposed to” be falling for you this fast…these are things that i heard this week come out of a man that i feel the exact same way about. Shocking! You mean someone gets me, my crazy sweet self and is actually feeling the same way? Ahh, yes, finally. Its scary in a good way to feel like this so fast. But amazing and im trying to soak it all up. But here’s what i believe… We are all on a journey and when youre journey matches up with someone elses journey and you fall in mutual like then thats whats “supposed to” be. Thats it, there are no rules on how fast it happens or how it goes, its just fate knocking on your door giving you your hearts desires, manifesting your dreams. It is that easy, it is that simple and it is love. Not “supposed to” be, no, is. I am in awe and im in like and i believe in this, in him, in us. And when someone tells you they like you, you make them happy and that they want to be with you…give them a huge kiss and hold on like hell because youre about the start the ride of your life! Im on it and i dont ever want to get off.

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the power of like.

17/06/2011

I have been through plenty of hurt in my life, especially with men. I am a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and i believe in and have always been searching for my big love. This gets me into trouble with men, well at least the wrong men. I try to impress and i end up being myself on crack but way too soon. Who am i? I am the girl that will do anything for the ones i care about, im the girl that would search the globe for months to find you the perfect present that you dont even remember mentioning anything about just for being you. Like a signed first edition of your favorite childrens book, thats me, i love seeing the smile and surprise on the faces of those i care for. But the older i get i learn that these gifts and actions of love must come from a place of overflow not lack, ive talked about that before but it applies to this as well. I must do these things never to hold onto someone or to impress someone but because they have added so much love to my life that i am overflowing and feel the need to give back some. This is the thought on my mind today. What if? What if i seem too eager sometimes? Too eager to love? I am overflowing with happiness and love at this moment and i need to be in that fully, enjoying every bit of it. What im experiencing is rare and i am experiencing it for the first time in my life. A man that thinks, better yet actually tells me that im wonderful, making him happy and beautiful. And i believe him. He is equally as amazing and handsome and i like him, quite a bit actually. I worry that it will all go, thats the fear that can come with something you’ve only ever dreamed about. But im holding on for dear life and putting an extreme amount of faith in the fact that he really is all that he seems and means all that he says and feels what he tells me he feels. He really is fantastic and i cant wait to see him again. Im letting go of being scared to lose and being myself. Being a little sappy and probably a bit too available and i worry he will see it as a bit scary. But I’d rather try and miss than wonder what if?. This is who i am now or in 3 months or 5 years. Im kind and open and when i find happiness i grab it, hold on and soak up as much of it as possible. Thats what i feel he is to me, happiness. True joy. And my invitation of an open home is not scary to the right guy. I cant mess up whats meant to be. Its not possible as long as im open to love and choose love every chance i have. I cant mess it up. He is a beautiful person and i am lucky for every chance i get to spend time with him, we are lucky each time we get to hang out together. That is the truth, that is the moment in the now and that is what i choose to focus on. The good. Soak it up, enjoy it, love it, believe in it.
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” Ahh, i feel better! I am replaying those wonderful words in my head and believing them all over again…

to be.

06/06/2011

Is it wrong to stay positive? I have alway been a super positive person. That’s why so many of my friends call me Sarah Sunshine…or at least they used to. With growing came more and more heart ache and pain and I let it and some of the people in my life get to me. I started to be the girl who hated men and thought they were all out to hurt us and sat in the pit of sorrow and rolled around for hours with friends in the same boat. But I’ve taken a giant step back and begun to look at my life and my attitude. Our attitude is the only thing in which we can control. Perhaps it is being around different and supportive friends, perhaps it is being in the “getting to know each other” phase with an amazing man who I can’t wait to learn more about, or perhaps I’m learning again who I am and bringing back the sunshine. People have always gotten onto me for wearing my heart on my sleeve, for being so open to love and positive and being a dreamer. Finally I think these comments had gotten to me. I know most of my friends have my best interest at heart, they don’t want to see me get hurt again, and I’m certain there were some who just wanted a pity party partner. But I am taking back my attitude, I believe in love. Is that a bad thing? I believe that there is someone out there for me and I know I will find him in the perfect time. It may not be in my time, but when it’s meant to happen I know it will and I am choosing to look at everything that has happened as lessons learned, all the guys that never called back, all the ones that took your heart and ripped it up leaving your feelings stranded on a cold kitchen floor, and the big love that you thought was it, but it just wasn’t right. These are all lessons, things to make you appreciate the one even more. And I believe in dreaming. It may get you stepped on from time to time but I believe dreaming is another form of planning. Some people say it’s easier to have no hopes, that way they don’t get shattered. But I say hope, dream, have faith, imagine how good this one could turn out to be, if you feel it: live in that and appreciate every moment. And if it doesn’t work out, move on, grow, grieve if you need to but know that it’s just a step and that it didn’t work out because there is something so much better in store for you. “Someday, someone will come along and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” It may seem at times hard to believe, especially when all you can do is think about a love lost but it will get better, he will come along and when he does being negative and telling yourself he’s just like all the rest, while secretly hoping he’s the one will get you nowhere. Be yourself, be happy and fulfilled in your own right and be open to love. And when you meet someone that takes your breath away, let it come to you, enjoy it slowly and let it grow, don’t rush it, if it’s right it will figure itself out and you will know what they mean by “it’s worth the wait”. Enjoy the good feelings, let yourself feel them and if you daydream a little so be it, maybe that’s the universes way of giving you a glimpse into your future. Believe in love, have faith in love, have patience and you will find yourself in time surrounded by more joy than you ever thought possible. Don’t ever let anyone take your sunshine away!