the power of like.

I have been through plenty of hurt in my life, especially with men. I am a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and i believe in and have always been searching for my big love. This gets me into trouble with men, well at least the wrong men. I try to impress and i end up being myself on crack but way too soon. Who am i? I am the girl that will do anything for the ones i care about, im the girl that would search the globe for months to find you the perfect present that you dont even remember mentioning anything about just for being you. Like a signed first edition of your favorite childrens book, thats me, i love seeing the smile and surprise on the faces of those i care for. But the older i get i learn that these gifts and actions of love must come from a place of overflow not lack, ive talked about that before but it applies to this as well. I must do these things never to hold onto someone or to impress someone but because they have added so much love to my life that i am overflowing and feel the need to give back some. This is the thought on my mind today. What if? What if i seem too eager sometimes? Too eager to love? I am overflowing with happiness and love at this moment and i need to be in that fully, enjoying every bit of it. What im experiencing is rare and i am experiencing it for the first time in my life. A man that thinks, better yet actually tells me that im wonderful, making him happy and beautiful. And i believe him. He is equally as amazing and handsome and i like him, quite a bit actually. I worry that it will all go, thats the fear that can come with something you’ve only ever dreamed about. But im holding on for dear life and putting an extreme amount of faith in the fact that he really is all that he seems and means all that he says and feels what he tells me he feels. He really is fantastic and i cant wait to see him again. Im letting go of being scared to lose and being myself. Being a little sappy and probably a bit too available and i worry he will see it as a bit scary. But I’d rather try and miss than wonder what if?. This is who i am now or in 3 months or 5 years. Im kind and open and when i find happiness i grab it, hold on and soak up as much of it as possible. Thats what i feel he is to me, happiness. True joy. And my invitation of an open home is not scary to the right guy. I cant mess up whats meant to be. Its not possible as long as im open to love and choose love every chance i have. I cant mess it up. He is a beautiful person and i am lucky for every chance i get to spend time with him, we are lucky each time we get to hang out together. That is the truth, that is the moment in the now and that is what i choose to focus on. The good. Soak it up, enjoy it, love it, believe in it.
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” Ahh, i feel better! I am replaying those wonderful words in my head and believing them all over again…